Run to the Father

If you’re a new mother like myself you may have been dealing with “baby blues” which is another term for postpartum depression. Scary thoughts, doubts, worries, self absorption, self denial and a new sense of responsibility are all very real. This was totally not MY ideal picture of motherhood but there is something DEEPER happening in this new chapter of life.

Depression can take us deeper into self loathing and self focus and there is only antidote. It isn’t “You can do it, just try harder!”; motivational self talk. It’s not getting lost in a bowl of ice cream or candy and zoning out before a movie or social media. It isn’t going on a shopping spree. It’s also not obsessing on feelings and blaming God, the world, our husbands and our children for where we are in life. No, it is time to sit before the Throne of Grace like God calls us to (Hebrew 4:16).

I opened my Bible to Psalm 119 and began reading aloud to myself the ancient but living words (Hebrews 4:12). Though I felt nothing, I knew from past experiences with God that I don’t rely on feelings but on the promises of His Word. Isaiah 55:10-11 assures that God’s Word is unfailing and will accomplish what He has set it to do. With that in mind I continued to read Psalm 119 and paused at verse 83 which says:

“Though I am like a wine skin in the smoke, I do not forget Your decrees." 

 "Why is the wineskin in the smoke?”, I questioned in my mind. Normally, I would stop what I was doing and Google what I wanted to know. An answer came to my mind, there is purpose for the smoke. 

We are the wineskins and the smoke represents the trials we face. God is usese the smoke to refine us and teach us to rely more on Him and less on our feelings and worldly pleasures. We can run to the Lord Who sees us and knows us (Genesis 16:13). God is changing us into the likeness of His Son, Jesus Christ, so we can bring glory to Him (2 Corinthians 3:18). The seasons of smoke are painful but we must not forget God’s command to be obedient in turning to Him.

Wherever you are and whatever season of life you find yourself in, cling to God. If you find yourself in the smoke and you can’t see what’s before you, hold tightly to the One Who knows you and is familiar with all your ways (Psalm 139:3). Bless the Lord and remember who He is and what He has done for you (Psalm 103). If you don’t know the God Who made you (Psalm 139), the Savior Who redeemed you (John 3:16-17) and the Spirit Who can dwell in you (2 Timothy 1:14), I invite you to seek Him while He may be found and to turn your life over to Him (Isaiah 55: 6-7). He can be trusted with your life and mine.