Search My Heart
Where to begin? This chapter of my life has been eye opening, heart wrenching at times. Where is my faith? Do I have any? These are wonderful questions that I have been afraid to ask myself. Fearful of the truth I would find in my heart yet the Lord beckons that I ask Him to search my heart for any offensive way in me.
As COVID 19 grew in the United States, the thoughts in my mind were that this couldn't be real and that I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare back in the 'normal' world. Nothing about our world was normal, though we had all gotten used to it. The riots of Black Lives Matter created more hostility and confusion to communities when in reality all lives matter. (John 3:16) The blatant LBGTQ agenda growing increasingly in the media.
I was frustrated that I would have to change my routine because of the stay-at-home recommendations. I was angry that I would have to give up my comfort of being able to go out and about as I pleased. I became aggravated that people were losing their minds and hurting each other. Lamenting in my prayers to God, I pleaded "I just want to raise my daughter in Mayberry." I'm probably in one of the most Mayberry places you can be. Yet the quarantine was a wake up call for Christ followers to seek the Lord and a mercy for those who did not know Him though now want to.
I have been trying to preserve my life here rather than preparing for the one to come. This reality check is causing me to take a deeper look at my faith and what I say I believe. It confronts me with having to make a decision at this fork in the road. I have been luke-warm in my faith, neither hot nor cold. In Revelations 3:16 Jesus warns that when we are luke-warm in our faith that He will spew us out of His mouth.
This calls for evaluation of motives, deeds and faith. I do believe that Jesus Christ is Lord but am I willing to die to my comfort to spend the essential time with God that will produce the abundant joy and fruit He promises? (Matthew 6:33; John 15:1-4,11; John 10:10) I cannot create faith in myself nor a love for the Lord but I can be intentional. (Ephesians 2:8-9; 1 John 4:19) I can plan ahead. Don't misunderstand me, this isn't about giving myself grace and a pat on the shoulder saying "it'll be okay, you'll do better next time." This is a war over my allegiance.
The bottom line is this : Instead of sweeping apathy of my time with the LORD under the rug, I have to get tough with this stronghold in my life.
I've listened to some beautiful messages by Anne Graham Lotz recently and attached is a message she taught called "Get Tough With Your Strongholds". In addition to time in God's Word and prayer, give this message a listen and allow the Holy Spirit to do some probing of your heart.
https://www.annegrahamlotz.org/2020/06/14/get-tough-with-your-strongholds-2/
Examine me, God, and know my heart;test me, and know my thoughts.See if there is in me any hurtful way,and lead me along the eternal way.
Psalm 139:23-24
As COVID 19 grew in the United States, the thoughts in my mind were that this couldn't be real and that I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare back in the 'normal' world. Nothing about our world was normal, though we had all gotten used to it. The riots of Black Lives Matter created more hostility and confusion to communities when in reality all lives matter. (John 3:16) The blatant LBGTQ agenda growing increasingly in the media.
I was frustrated that I would have to change my routine because of the stay-at-home recommendations. I was angry that I would have to give up my comfort of being able to go out and about as I pleased. I became aggravated that people were losing their minds and hurting each other. Lamenting in my prayers to God, I pleaded "I just want to raise my daughter in Mayberry." I'm probably in one of the most Mayberry places you can be. Yet the quarantine was a wake up call for Christ followers to seek the Lord and a mercy for those who did not know Him though now want to.
I have been trying to preserve my life here rather than preparing for the one to come. This reality check is causing me to take a deeper look at my faith and what I say I believe. It confronts me with having to make a decision at this fork in the road. I have been luke-warm in my faith, neither hot nor cold. In Revelations 3:16 Jesus warns that when we are luke-warm in our faith that He will spew us out of His mouth.
This calls for evaluation of motives, deeds and faith. I do believe that Jesus Christ is Lord but am I willing to die to my comfort to spend the essential time with God that will produce the abundant joy and fruit He promises? (Matthew 6:33; John 15:1-4,11; John 10:10) I cannot create faith in myself nor a love for the Lord but I can be intentional. (Ephesians 2:8-9; 1 John 4:19) I can plan ahead. Don't misunderstand me, this isn't about giving myself grace and a pat on the shoulder saying "it'll be okay, you'll do better next time." This is a war over my allegiance.
The bottom line is this : Instead of sweeping apathy of my time with the LORD under the rug, I have to get tough with this stronghold in my life.
I've listened to some beautiful messages by Anne Graham Lotz recently and attached is a message she taught called "Get Tough With Your Strongholds". In addition to time in God's Word and prayer, give this message a listen and allow the Holy Spirit to do some probing of your heart.
https://www.annegrahamlotz.org/2020/06/14/get-tough-with-your-strongholds-2/
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