Lilies and Sparrows

 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds,  because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.  Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4 I had been fed a lie. And what's worse is I indulged in. The ease of having all at my disposal and comfort at my leisure is conscience numbing and faith wilting. Everyone has been effected by the constraints of COVID19. No family get togethers, no friend outings - at least not without a mask (in some places). For my little family, not much changed because my husband is considered an essential worker. Yet for the world around us, lots had changed. Slowly but surely that began to creep in and expose hidden motives and fears in my heart. When COVID19 really started becoming a thing in the US around February/March of 2020, I remember kind of just being in a little delusion and protection mode in my brain. "This ...

Where to begin? This chapter of my life has been eye opening, heart wrenching at times. Where is my faith? Do I have any? These are wonderful questions that I have been afraid to ask myself. Fearful of the truth I would find in my heart yet the Lord beckons that I ask Him to search my heart for any offensive way in me. Examine me, God, and know my heart; test me, and know my thoughts.   See if there is in me any hurtful way, and lead me along the eternal way.    Psalm 139:23-24 As COVID 19 grew in the United States, the thoughts in my mind were that this couldn't be real and that I just wanted to wake up from the nightmare back in the 'normal' world. Nothing about our world was normal, though we had all gotten used to it. The riots of Black Lives Matter created more hostility and confusion to communities when in reality all lives matter. (John 3:16) The blatant LBGTQ agenda growing increasingly in the media. I was frustrated that I would have to change m...

Psalm 46:10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;     I will be exalted among the nations,     I will be exalted in the earth.” This lovely verse tends to be plastered everywhere on cute wall art to hang in your home (yes, I've got one, too) and in inspirational pictures you see on Instagram and online. "Be still and know". It sounds quaint and sweet, right? Be still and know. Well here's the thing: this girl has one heck of a time being still. The world around me and my own self inflicted schedule urges me to be everything but quiet and still. ' Be still ' , in the Strong's Concordance , is some word I can't spell but is pronounced ' raw-faw ' . "Cool, great." You say "but what does it mean?" I'm glad you asked. ' B e still ' : To sink, relax, let drop, abandon. This command from God is for me to set my self exalted priorities down so that He can be ...

Tasks of the day run through my mind : feeding our 8 month old breakfast, laundry piling up, errands, bank stuff and now this COVID19 -- as if we needed anymore reason to be health conscious. Compound that by wasted time scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, I easily get caught in my mind and thoughts can spiral out of control. Tasks end up unfinished, frustration builds and here I go on the roller coaster of self again. If I don't catch myself quick enough I can do some damage with my words to others (especially my husband) for not helping me or doing something I want him to do right now. The Bible tells us of a woman, Martha, who was "anxious and troubled" in her thoughts. It showed through her frustration that she took out on others. PraiseGod I'm not alone and there is an antidote! It starts with our thinking. Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister call...

Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “ Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her. ” Luke 10:38-42 T his text is so rich and relative to my life. As a wife and mother, I tend to wake up and chase the day,  serving and keeping the house running – as I see fit anyway . Laundry, dishes, sweeping, vacuuming, gardening, bills, take the garbage out.. oh I gotta go to the grocery store. It’s 5 already? I haven’t started dinner yet! You name it, it’s gotta get done! You know what I mean? Our tasks mount...

If you’re a new mother like myself you may have been dealing with “baby blues” which is another term for postpartum depression. Scary thoughts, d oubts, worries, self absorption, self denial and a new sense of responsibility are all very real. This wa s totally not MY ideal picture of motherhood but there is something DEEPER happening in this new chapter of life. Depression can take us deeper into self loathing and self focus and there is  only  antidote. It isn’t “You can do it, just try harder!”; motivational self talk. It’s not getting lost in a bowl of ice cream or candy and zoning out before a movie or social media. It isn’t going on a shopping spree. It’s also not obsessing on feelings and blaming God, the world, our husbands a nd our children for where we are in life. No, it is time to sit before the Throne of Grace like God calls us to (Hebrew 4:16). I opened my Bible to Psalm 119 and began reading aloud to myself the ancient but living words (Hebr...

Recently as a new mother I have been struggling with sharing my faith because I choose to stay at home to raise my daughter. Before I was working with other adults on a regular schedule then I transitioned from working outside of the home, to stay at home mama, and honestly it has been quite difficult. But as I reflect on God’s love, He has been good to show me how to share my faith even in this new calling. I was standing at my stove cooking breakfast telling my daughter who had just become two months old how much I love her when a thought entered my mind. “I can show her my love better by teaching her about where the source of love comes from, Jesus Christ”. So I began talking to her about the love of God in the simplest way that I could. I recounted what the Bible says in John 3:16, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Sharing this simple truth was such a boost to my own faith...